«The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out» (Proverbs 20:5, NIV).
According to psychologist Mark Baker, the root of our anger is often pain, fear or frustration. Anger itself, he explains, is «like a light on the dashboard of your car, telling you to check the motor. When it goes on, it tells you there is a problem under the hood. You don’t tap it and say, ‘Good grief, what a problem the red light is.’ No, you should realize that red light—anger—is telling you to look under the hood.» The problem is we often prefer anger than the discomfort and vulnerability of getting our hands dirty to find out what is under the hood.
Imagine you go to the doctor because you are not feeling well. The doctor performs a series of blood and urine tests, and promises you to call back on Monday the following week to give you the lab results. But Thursday comes and they still have not gotten in touch with you. By then, you are mad! What lies under the hood? You probably feel ignored, scared and powerless. Imagine your best friend is busy, to the point that she does not reply to your messages. You are going through a hard time, and she is not there to support you. You feel mad. However, under the hood you will also find you feel hurt, disappointed and abandoned. You go back home after a fantastic day at work. You begin to tell your husband about the incredible experience you had, but his only answer is a mechanical «Hmm.» You explode with rage and accuse him of never paying attention to you. Under the hood you will see you feel insignificant, ignored and unloved. To handle our anger in a constructive way, we should take a deeper look (as exemplified in «Understanding Your Anger,» an article published on a website with questions on psychology).
It is hard for us to feel and admit our anger because, as Christian psychologist Dan Allender writes in The Cry of the Soul: «Every emotion—whether positive or negative— opens the door to the nature of reality. We would rather avoid pain, but even more so, we want to escape reality.» When we admit our deepest feelings, we move forward on the path of maturity and holiness.
Dear Lord, give me the courage to unmask the feelings hiding behind my anger.
Bless me with the maturity and humility I need to admit my needs and to communicate them in a constructive way. Thank You for the Holy Spirit’s help. Amen.
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Take From: Devotional Thoughts for Women 2022
«NO FEARS»
BY: VANEZA PISSUTO
Collaborators: Alexandra Pérez & Angelica Cuate.
