STOWAWAYS

«Be angry, and do not sin: do not let the sun go down on your wrath» (Ephesians 4:26, NKJV).

We tend to think our lives would be much better off if we never got mad. However, anger plays a vital role: it tells us when we should pay attention to something. It is the emotional equivalent of physical pain. If someone accidentally catches my fingers on a door, a nanosecond later pain will make me react. I will begin to scream and then the person will open the door. If I did not feel pain, my fingers could break without me even realizing it. Pain—precisely because of the discomfort it produces—helps us survive in a world where there are accidents, illnesses and sin. Anger is similar. When someone crushes us emotionally, we feel angry. That, in itself, is very good. Anger is a red light, a waving flag that prevents us from ignoring what bothers and hurts us. That is why anger is often described as a secondary emotion. Basically, if we scratch the surface of anger with a coin, it will reveal sadness, embarrassment or even fear.

Anger is generally the tip of the iceberg that is seen. Often, without realizing it, we paint with anger other feelings that are more vulnerable and do not have the courage to go out on the street unclothed. We feel frustrated, exhausted, embarrassed, ignored, misunderstood, or alone; but, instead of communicating any of those feelings, we become angry! Emotions climb the boat of anger as stowaways, because of their appearance. Anger seems strong to us, while other emotions make us feel more vulnerable.

One of the best tools I have found to manage my anger is to ask myself: «What am I actually feeling? Which emotion is playing hide-and-seek, crouching down behind my anger?» Several months ago, I was talking with my best friend about a problem I had. I do not remember the problem, but I do remember that I was extremely angry. My friend listened to me as I told her the details of my story. Suddenly, there was a pause. I felt the Holy Spirit was inviting me to go in deeper. Then, I told my friend: «More than angry, I think I am hurt.» When those words escaped my lips, I started to cry and felt relief. I still had a problem to solve, but now I knew what it was about!

Dear Lord, I want to learn to manage my anger in a constructive way.
Instead of exploding and reacting, give me the courage to explore the fear, insecurity, or frustration hiding behind it.
May Your Spirit lead me to the truth that sets me free. Amen.

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Take From: Devotional Thoughts for Women 2022
«NO FEARS»
BY: VANEZA PISSUTO
Collaborators: Alexandra Pérez & Angelica Cuate.