«Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors» (Matthew 6:12).
When Carol Urton talks about forgiveness, she’s not sharing a theory. Carol’s biological father abandoned her when she was just two years old. Her mother remarried, but her stepfather began abusing her and engaging her in the child pornography industry. Carol finally ran away from home. Because her stepfather was a nominal Christian, Carol felt a great rejection of God. However, years later, she was so desperate to save her marriage that she decided to attend a church to get marriage counseling. The pastor who spoke to her, noticing that there was a deeper problem, invited her to talk about her father. It was then, at the age of twenty-seven, that Carol was able to talk for the first time about what had happened to her and begin the path of recovery.
Later, the church Carol attended held a series of six sermons about forgiveness. Every week, Carol left church crying, not able to find the strength to forgive the unforgivable. The people who had hurt her had never apologized to her. At the end of the series, Carol went to chat with the preacher to explain why she should be exempt from forgiving. The preacher listened patiently and said, «Why don’t you try?»
One morning, while telling me her story, Carol said, «This is what I learned: forgiveness is not a feeling, but a decision. When we take the necessary steps to do what God asks of us, however difficult it may be, the result is always surprising.» Carol decided to forgive her stepfather, so she called him on the phone. She told him about all the harm he had caused her and told him that she had decided to forgive him by the grace of Jesus. After saying these words, Carol waited a moment, thinking her stepfather would apologize. However, all he said to her was: «Tough luck, kid. That’s life!» Despite his reaction, Carol told me: «When I forgave my stepfather, this changed not him, but me. When I hung up the phone, I disconnected myself from him. Here’s what it means: I canceled the debt. If someone owes you something (an apology, money, whatever) you’re chained to that person . . . When you cancel the debt, you are free.»
Dear Lord, I don’t want to allow the pain of the past to shackle me. I want to pay off my debts through Your power and Your grace.
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Take From: Devotional Thoughts for Women 2022
«NO FEARS»
BY: VANEZA PISSUTO
Collaborators: Alexandra Pérez & Angelica Cuate.
