«For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you» (John 13: 15).
From the series of articles published under the title Forgiveness: Theory, Research and Practice, the researchers Michael McCullough, Kenneth Pargament, and Clark Thoresen published a book of which the key elements of forgiveness are deduced. They include the following:
Recognition of the damage. The damage can be physical, psychological, sexual or verbal, and it could have been direct (toward oneself) or indirect (received by a family member, friend, fellow countryman, etc.). Together with the recognition of the damage, the source of who or what produced it should be recognized.
Commitment to forgive. Once the harm is done and the offender is detected, the offended can mainly adopt two options: revenge or forgiveness. Thus, he analyzes the advantages and disadvantages of each option and makes a choice.
Thoughts and feelings. The experience of forgiveness is influenced by our beliefs and feelings. A significant part of the ability to forgive depends on the capacity of empathizing with the offender. Admitting that each of us can be offended or can be an offender makes forgiveness easier.
Behavior. Before forgiveness can take place, the behavior and the spoken words must be consistent with one’s decisions, thoughts and feelings. With that in mind, it can be said that one has been forgiven when the offended person shows compassion and empathy toward his offender through his actions.
Bible has many stories, references, and examples that show some practical guidelines related to each one of these elements. Without any doubt, the greatest example of forgiveness was offered by Christ when He forgave the world that despised, insulted, hit and finally crucified Him. In the second epistle, the apostle Paul encourages us to imitate Him with these exact words, “for to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps: ‘Who committed no sin, nor was deceit found in His mouth’; who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously» (1 Pet. 2:21-23).
We encourage you, to meditate today on the example of Christ especially on the hours preceding His crucifixion. Notice how He sympathizes with His offenders despite the gravity of the shame and the pain they had caused; He offers a prayer for them and pleads for forgiveness which reveals His deepest feelings. Remember the example He gave us so that we too, like Him, could offer forgiveness.